At some level, we all want to be seen and loved for who we really are. It can be difficult, however, to find someone with whom you have anything in common with, let alone develop a connection that can transcend all other relationships in your life.
And yet, we all know one couple that’s been together for years and are still head-over-heels for one another. What’s their secret? Luck? Excitement pills? Actually, it might just be down to a few good habits and a little extra effort on their part.
Fortunately, there are many things that you can do to ensure that your relationship stays strong over time. To put this into perspective, here are five things connected couples do regularly to nourish their bond.
These 5 Things Are What Keep Couples Connected and Strong
What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined… to strengthen each other… to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.
– George Eliot
They share intimate knowledge of themselves
Although this is easier said than done, talk to your partner about personal and private aspects of yourself. Intimate knowledge that’s shared with a partner, for example, can include secrets, interpersonal rituals, bodily information, and memories of embarrassing moments.
Most deeply connected partners have some sort of shared language of endearment for one another, along with special ways of touching each other that convey meaning or give pleasure to the other. Inside jokes, funny pet names, and playful teasing are all ways that couples connect with one another on an intimate level.
They don’t freak out over fights
If you’ve been under each other’s skin lately, it’s not necessarily time to panic or rush to a marriage counselor. In fact, feeling irritated with one another is almost always a good sign that you’re in a healthy relationship and not drifting apart. In other words, it means you’ve become comfortable enough to express yourself, says Kira Birditt, Ph.D.. Relationships that are close and positive can also be extremely irritating. That being said, if you or your significant other resorts to name-calling or frequent yelling, this type of behavior could be a sign that this issue is worth addressing.
They really listen to each other
Did you know that listening is linked to your emotional intelligence? In other words, it’s a major factor in your personal and professional perceptions and interactions. So, why is active listening important?
Well, listening to your partner reaps benefits in every area of your life. When you listen, you’ll learn things about your partner that will help you love them even more. You’ll also catch a quick glimpse of your partner’s hopes and dreams, along with their fears. This also means that your partner will share information about you that makes them feel uncomfortable and want to withdraw. You’ll discover ideas and thoughts previously unknown to you. If, for some reason, you’re not in the habit of listening – really listening – you’ll miss all these things and much more.
They are kind to one another
Becoming more aware of this action can help you better handle everyday situations. When it comes to keeping love alive, kindness is essential. For one thing, it creates a sense of appreciation. It also helps build trust. Honestly, it’s hard to stay in love with someone when you walk around on eggshells wondering when the next criticism or put-down is coming. In this manner, kindness is the key to avoiding mistreatment. This is the first step towards a healthy relationship.
They laugh together
Laughing can reduce stress, improve communication, and release feel-good hormones in the brain. All these are highly important in a country where 51% of women and 43% of men experience the negative side effects of chronic stress. Laughing also helps create great memories, reduce arguments, and bring hearts closer together. Maybe your significant other is always cracking you up. Or maybe neither one of you is all that funny, but you both laugh until you cry at the same movies. Wherever you find it, just remember that laughter is good for love.
Investing in your relationship often times mean doing small things deliberately that will ultimately have a huge impact. Whether you’re together for five days or 40 years, it’s never too early or too late to start making changes.