Toxic people can enter our lives through all kinds of avenues: family, friends, significant others. You may not always notice when a toxic person enters your life – or, when you do, it’s already too late for you to turn around and walk away easily. Removing a toxic person from your life can be rather difficult, especially because this person does everything they can to make it as hard as possible.
“When you notice someone does something toxic the first time, don’t wait for the second time before you address it or cut them off. Many survivors are used to the “wait and see” tactic which only leaves them vulnerable to a second attack. As your boundaries get stronger, the wait time gets shorter. You never have justify your intuition.” – says author and advocate ShahidaArabi.
Fortunately, there are ways to gradually release your attachment to someone who is too much toxic to be allowed in your life anymore, whether they’re a relative, a close friend, or a partner you once thought you love. Getting rid of such people in your life means that you are free to live life more fully and more joyously than if you were to allow them to continue sucking your entire positivity. If you’retrying hard to eliminate your attachment to a toxic person, here are several useful tips you should follow.
Here are 4 ways how you can release yourself from the Clutches Of Toxic People
“Save your skin from the corrosive acids from the mouths of toxic people. Someone who just helped you to speak evil about another person can later help another person to speak evil about you.” -Israel more Ayivor
1.Don’t give in to the toxic person’s requests
The first step is to make sure that you are no longer giving these people everything they demand. Toxic persons almost always want what they want, and they want it right now. These people demand that everyone around them provide to their every whim and demand it without even thinking to give anything back.
Private coach and author Preston Ni, M.S.B.A. said, “No one can please everyone all the time, so please don’t even try. People who receive your thankless and unreciprocated giving on a regular basis are also more likely to take it for granted. There’s power that comes with exercising your right to set boundaries and say “no”.”
When you stop giving in, the toxic person realizes that you can’t be pushed around anymore. They may try to regain their control over you, but standing firmand refusing to give them what they demandlets them knowthey’ll have to look for it elsewhere. Such an attitude will allow you to let go of your attachment more easily once they’re no longer relying on you to give them what they want.
2.Put your own needs first
You are the one and only person that you can truly rely on 100%. You may be able to lean on your friends, relatives,and significant others to help you in times of need or trouble, but you are always going to be the first and only person to cover your own back. So, put yourself first and remain in this position.
“What often happens to those who simply give in and put themselves last is that eventually – sooner rather than later, one hopes—that person will realize that she or he is unhappy and resentful, more so when they realize it’s their own responsibility in this,” explains Isadora Alman, M.F.T, a licensed therapist, lecturer,and author.
For this reason, put your needs way above the needs of a toxic person who is currently present in your life. Learn to replace your harmful attachment of the toxic individual with a healthy attachment for yourself. Learn to love yourself, and release all your feelings that you carry for that toxic person. Learning to trust and rely on yourself and put your needs first is the best method to make sure that you are no longer depending on your attachments to a toxic person.
3.Question the toxic people you know
Toxic people are often living their life without being questioned about their own behavior. By questioning what they’re doing and saying, and the reasons for their actions and words, you will learn to break up the toxic mindset that you might have adopted due to the presence of a toxic person. Once you start questioning their entire world, you’ll find that their answers just don’t make any sense. These people may be saying and doing things for their own personal benefit – which means they probably don’t and never did care about you as you thought. Once you realize that these people don’t really appreciate and respect you, breaking your attachment to them will be much easier.
4.Look for a support system
Whether you ask help from your friends, relatives, your significant other or even a professional counselor, finding a proper support system is one of the best ways to release yourself from toxic attachments. Being able to talk to someone about the toxic wrongdoings that are being done to you will make it easier to see how bad things actually are.
According to author Dr. Travis Bradberry, Ph.D., “Something as simple as explaining the situation can lead to a new perspective. Most of the time, other people can see a solution that you can’t because they are not as emotionally invested in the situation.”
Lacking an outside perspective, you may believe that the toxic behavior of the person that you’re still attached to is actually normal. However, once you have set loose from that toxic prison cell, releasing any residual attachments will be easier.
Final thoughts and conclusion
You may encounter toxic people in all kinds of relationships, and their toxicity may be hard to notice at times. The most important thing,however, is to learn what a toxic person does, and how this person behaves. Once you realize this, you will be able to focus on eliminating the attachments that have formed – both by the toxic person and by yourself. After all, if you are attached to a toxic person, they may also be attached to you as their victim. However, once you’re no longer an ideal victim, they will easily become uninterested in you and move on to f that they can manipulate and control. Warning the people close to you of what they have done will make it harder for them to pick up a new victim.